Holy Week

Tonight at Roots we watched The Passion of the Christ. I have seen bits and pieces of here and there, but never sat down and watched it from start to finish. It was so intense. My body was tense the whole movie, I closed my eyes tight, jumped a few times, shuttered, cringed, ext. during the movie. After the movie was over, I sat up and looked at Missy, and couldn't say anything. We sat on the floor for a while just looking at each other saying, wow. I left like I needed to journal, or sit and talk about it all.

It's hard to watch all of the beatings, and whipping, being sit on, and carrying that heavy cross barley able to hold up his own body weight, and think, he did that for me! FOR ME! That is crazy love! That is deep love! That is powerful! I felt sick to my stomach watching them whip Jesus with even the sticks they had, but then the "tool" or weapon they had with the sharp pieces on it, it was horrific what Jesus took.

I couldn't imagine knowing that I was sharing my last meal with my "friends" or the disciples in Jesus case. Luke 22:15 "Jesus said, "I have been very eager to eat this Passover meal with you before my suffering begins." What?! I just hear a calm gentle voice when I read that. I on the other hand would be freaking out knowing that I was going to be beat and suffer greatly! That is why he is Jesus and I am not, or really we are not, because we couldn't handle it.

After taking in the movie and re-reading the scripture, I am feeling very loved, and that I don't do deserve what Jesus did for me. I am so thankful for his love, that he would be beat nearly to death, just left alive enough to feel the awful pain of being hung on the cross. I couldn't watch that part of the movie. The sound of the hammer was enough for me.

The most amazing part about all of this is, Jesus loves us so incredibly much that he suffered on our behalf. That we are forgiven of our sins, white as snow, a clean slate. And that is so amazing. I don't know about you, but I know that I have screwed up a lot in my life, and being of human nature, I am going to continue to sin even if that isn't truly my intent. But I have this amazing, beautiful, loving Jesus who wipes my slate clean. And that's is just incredible!

Michael and I are participating in both Lake Harbor and Church of the Dunes prayer vigil's tomorrow and Saturday, and I am really looking forward to that time, and reflect more on the holy week events. We serve such and amazing God, and are so lucky for him sending his son Jesus to die on our behalf! Going to bed thankful for him suffering for me, and feeling very loved............what a sacrifice!

- Ashley